A frozen field of lavenders
by Mirandel Xevian
Summary: Gwen, Arthur and Merlin leave for Emilion, a once fallen kingdom, after receiving shocking news of its return. Secrets are revealed and mysteries given... MORE INSIDE! ArthurxGwen, OC-characters, drama/romance/adventure/fantasy


A frozen field of lavenders

**Title :**A frozen field of lavenders

**Author : **Mirandel

**Rating : **this chapter: G; others will be PG orPG-13

**Characters/Pairings :**Arthur/Gwen, Merlin, OC-characters

**Spoilers : **All the episodes.

**Disclaimer : **Merlin belongs to BBC.

**Summary : ** _"Look, I know that many of you in Camelot are afraid of the situation between Emilion and Camelot. But we're offering peace. Now you're wondering why I couldn't come there by myself. Well, the truth is … I'm a coward. I am afraid of seeing you, as I'm afraid of facing the old enemies of Emilion. I am so sorry that I left you though I don't regret. I just wish I'd done it in a different way. I miss you. ... ..._

_ I wish you had some time to visit us in Emilion. I know the distance is terribly long but… I just wanted to let you know that you're always welcome here, including your friends. I hope you're doing fine._

_ Guinevere, despite the distance, nothing will ever chance the friendship and love between us. Those ties are unbreakable. You will always be my only beloved sister. I love you!_

_Looking forward to see you soon._

_With love,_

_Ellenire, The Queen of Emilion."_

**bAuthor's notes:/b **This is my very first Merlin-fic**. **Since English is not my native language and I have a great will to write this fic, I had to find a beta-reader. BIG thanks to dear _mydoctortennant_ for her great help and beta-reading my fic! 3

**PROLOGUE**

-

The sun was hiding behind the darkening clouds. It seemed to be moving, travelling – far across the sky. Wherever its path was heading to, it would be far enough to be unable touch the Kingdom of Camelot. The warmth and the light would be gone. They already were, even though the people of the kingdom looked happy and glad. The sun had brought the peace for an endless looking war. Now the torn families were finally together. Children were playing as women and men were pleasing their loved ones. It had been spring and summer every day ever since the first day of peace.

But not everyone was happy. Not everyone was pleased, unharmed or alive. Some people were still struggling in a pain.

A young and beautiful dark-haired woman was one of those people. She was squirming in a pain that she had never experienced before. The sweat was streaming down her body, and was now covering the bed, as well. She looked like someone had poured sweat or water on her. She was gasping worse than during the births of her young daughters, Guinevere and Ellenire. A rare and unknown illness was taking over her. It was killing her.

"Wh-- where're my girls, Tom?" she asked weakly. She wondered if her husband really heard her because she couldn't hear anything herself. She was half-deaf, so she couldn't hear if her children were even near. Despite the half-missing senses, she could feel his husband's slight touch against her skin. Right hand, she guessed. Or left? She couldn't tell. The only thing she could tell was that his skin felt like ice against her heated one.

"They're playing outside. Ellen is taking good care of Gwen," Tom held her hand. It was right hand. Now that the hold was stronger than some seconds earlier, she could tell for sure. A sudden smile on her face scared herself a little.

"She's a great sister to Gwen. I'm glad we've got two so wonderful girls. Gwen adores her," she said smilingly until the smile faded into a painful gasp.

"And we all adore _you_, my love," Tom said with a gentle and calm voice but the agony was blown through it like a cool winter breeze. Even though she was almost deaf, blind and insensitive, she could still feel the emotions through the words. She'd always been good at that – recognizing one's feelings. No one had ever managed to lie to her.

"Do not worry, Tom. You're a wonderful father and husband. I couldn't have wished for better one. Please, Tom, promise me…" she said gaspingly, "… you'll keep doing your job. You'll keep going on every day. You'll keep living with our children. Just… never lose hope…Tom…" she was trembling as the cold started running in her veins. She heard the call. The call of death.

"Celena… love, I…"

"Promise me," she tried to sound strong but her voice froze like water in the cold. Silence. Only her gasps kept telling that she wasn't dead.

"I promise. I love you," he said as the tears started running down his face. He kissed her sweaty but cooled off hands. The fever was gone but the chains that hold her together with it were not broken. They would break only after dark. And Celena was waiting for the dark to come. Though, she wasn't ready yet.

"Please, call Ellen and Gwen. I'd love to see them… for the last time," she trembled with a quiet voice. Tom rose and walked to the door. Once the door was opened, Celena took a deep breath and enjoyed the cool breeze catching her face, for the last time. She heard Tom's voice from somewhere beyond the time and distance.

"What is it, Mom?" asked the eldest one. Celena opened her eyes, and saw two small pretty faces above her. The girls, both with black curled hair and fudge brown skin, were curious but restless. Gwen was sucking her finger as her left hand was holding back to her sisters.

"What are you playing?" Celena asked with a weak smile on her lips.

"The Prince and Princess play. I'm the prince and Gwen's the princess," Ellenire said restlessly as she couldn't hold herself. Celena laughed a little.

"I can see that," Celena saw now how Gwen was wearing her prettiest lavender-colored dress (now covered in mud) and a small tiara made of flowers. She looked like a princess, and she _was_. Ellen though had her curled black hair tied strictly against her neck. She was wearing trousers and a simple shirt. "Oh, my beautiful princesses, come here," she managed to raise her frozen hands a little. The sisters understood the sign and almost jumped into her embrace. "Mom is really sorry but she's been really tired and sick these days," she said as she hugged her daughters.

"Well, maybe you'll be ok tomorrow. Will you play with us then? You'll be the queen," Ellen suggested with a big hopeful smile. Celena's smile faded slightly. Her heart hurt as she was thinking about the truth. And she had decided to be honest with her children. She wouldn't start lying now.

"I'm afraid I will no longer be here then, sweetheart," she failed at making her voice sound calm and happy. Her tears had reached the corners of the eyes. She barely saw Ellen's broken expression as the tears were clouding her eyes. Ellen understood but Gwen didn't. Gwen was just trying to sleep on her mother's lap.

"B- but … Gaius… he can heal you. He heals everything. _Anything,_" Ellen's voice totally broke at the last word.

"No one heals better than Gaius. This illness is just too much for everyone. For me, for Gaius, for all you three. Please, Ellenire… listen…to me…," Celena gasped as her senses were fading slowly.

"Mom… no… you can't die. No…" Ellen cried.

"Ellenire… take care of your sister…" Celena took a look at the small girl on her lap. Gwen was asleep with a sweet smile on her face. Celena stroked her cheeks and curls. "… Guinevere… my princess…" and then she lost her senses. She didn't see her daughters; she didn't hear their cries, and she didn't smell the sweet lavender's scent in the sweat's smell. She was no longer there with her loved ones. She was somewhere… across the time. And then there was the light. Her eyes opened and met the beautiful field of lavenders. The lavenders of violet and green against the blue sky. The chains were broken. She had been freed from the ice.

-

_A year later._

"I'm sick of it! Mom did everything better than you!" Ellenire yelled at her father.

"Ellenire!" Tom yelled back at his daughter. Ellen sneered, and almost run through the door to get out of the hut.

"What's wrong with Ellen?" Gwen asked while sitting on her dining chair and playing with her shabby teddy bear. Tom sighed and tried to forget Ellen's rude words. She was just ten and not over her mother's death.

"She'll be ok. Just eat, please," Tom said and gently pushed a clayey plate toward her. Gwen smiled and ate. She ate everything but her expression told more than thousand words: it was disgusting. Tom sighed. Ellen was right. Mom, Celena, really had done everything better than him. But he tried! He really tried his best to make _their_ daughters happy. What did he actually do wrong? "Do you like it?" Tom didn't know why he even asked when he already knew the answer. However, Gwen smiled.

"Well, not the best but it's okay," Gwen was honest. She was always honest and a very sweet girl. Just like her mother. Tom smiled and laid his hand on her back.

"Such a sweet girl," Tom said and kissed her on the top of her head. "I go to find your sister. I've also got some job to do today. Don't disappear while then, ok?" Gwen nodded as he hurried out of the house. She gasped as her smile faded away. She hated to be alone though she knew pretty well that her father would never abandon her. Nevertheless, she couldn't stop the emptiness from filling her heart, soul and body. The warmth and love her mother had used to give her was missing. Everyone kept thinking that she, the youngest, only a 5-year-old girl couldn't remember anything. They were wrong. They didn't know that she knew. She just kept living like before; just trying to be brave enough to survive from life that was torn apart. Life that used to be whole, like a beautiful lavender flower, before freezing up. No matter was she alone or surrounded by her fighting sister and father, she always felt cold and lonely. No one saw her. No one ever asked anything. Because they thought she didn't understand. They thought she didn't know what had happened a year ago, but she knew. _They_ didn't know.

Gwen didn't understand why Ellen kept being so stubborn and rude to everyone? None of them had caused mother's death though it seemed she was blaming everyone. Despite her arrogance, Gwen still loved and adored her. Ellen was brave and active. She couldn't stay still for a minute. She was rather a knight than a blacksmith's daughter.

-

Gwen was awake. She couldn't sleep; dreams hadn't reached her since mother's death. The hut had remained cold ever since.

Gwen tended to speak to her teddy bear, which had been given to her by her mother, so it was her most precious toy. Actually it wasn't just a toy. It was much more: it was there to fill her empty heart.

"Dear Mom, I wish you can hear me. Well, sure you _do_, you always listen. But I wish I could hear you. I wish… you were here," she whispered to the teddy bear who was sitting on her small stomach. She had to swallow the urge to cry. "Everything has changed. Ellen is mad at everyone and she doesn't eat. Well, honestly your food was better than Dad's, but it still doesn't give her a right to be so rude. Well, I hope you're fine there, Mom, wherever you are then. I love you, Mom," she said and kissed the teddy on the top of its head. Then she was no longer able to stop the tears falling. She was sobbing but as silently as possible. She didn't want anyone to see her. Not now when her heart was torn apart. Although it wouldn't change anything if someone saw; no one would ever understand.

Footsteps. Silent ones. Gwen held her breath and rose up on her bed. She saw a girl standing by the door, looking down at her. The girl raised her finger on her lips as a sign to be quiet. Gwen frowned as she recognized her.

"Ellen. What are you…?" Gwen didn't make her question to the end as her sister disappeared behind the door without any noise. "Ellen!" she didn't shout it. Her heart told her not to. Instead of yelling for father she sprinted after her - the teddy bear hanging roughly on her right hand.

It was really dark and cold, as the raindrops kept pouring down harder than ever in the whole year. Despite the uncomfortable weather, Gwen ran out wearing only her white sleeveless pyjama. Wet ground was freezing under her bare feet, as she found Ellen walking a horse that was obviously too big for her. And it was their stallion that father had bought to cheer his daughters up. Despite the fact she was only five, she totally realized what her sister Ellenire was planning to do: to escape. Run away. To disappear.

"No, Ellen, don't go. Please!" Gwen begged. Ellen shushed her.

"Be quiet, Gwen. Help me to get on his back. I'm leaving. I can't stand it anymore," Ellen's whispers were angry and arrogant – as they'd been throughout the whole year.

"No," Gwen sobbed and refused to help her. Ellen looked furious and a bit nervous. She took Gwen's shoulders.

"Gwen. You help me now. I love you. You take care of yourself when I'm not here. I'm sorry, Gwen but I can't live here. I want more… adventures, better life… and… I just don't belong here," Ellen said furiously. Gwen shook her head and was still refusing to give helping hand.

"No, you can't go. I… don't… want you … to go…" Gwen was brave but still a bit shy. Ellen took a deep sigh when realizing that Gwen wasn't going to help her. So Ellen decided to get into the saddle by herself. If she really wanted to be an adventurer, she should do everything by herself. Getting into the saddle by herself was the least she had to be able to handle alone. Therefore, she sighed and sped up to the jump. The stallion neighed as she managed to land; her stomach first on his back. It took half a minute to get seated in the right position.

"Thanks for the help, Guinevere. Now…" Ellen gasped and her look strayed from the hut to sobbing Gwen. "I'm really sorry, Gwen. I won't forget you. I promise. Don't you forget me either, ok? Remember me. Now…goodbye, my sister," and then she kicked the horse a way too hard as a sign to move forward. The stallion didn't like the way he was treated so he neighed loud and reared high before starting to gallop towards the gates.

"No! Ellen, no!" Guinevere cried out loud and left after them. She ran as fast as she could with her little legs in the blinding rain. "Ellen… Ellenire…" she kept crying all the way to the gates, to the road away from Camelot. And suddenly the dark woods were surrounding her, but she didn't care. She kept running until she felt too heavy to carry on. Until her little legs were way too tired. Until her heart hurt too much in her small bosom. She fell down onto her knees as the teddy bear splashed in a puddle. And then she screamed out her name into the night: "ELLENIRE! COME BACK! ELLENIRE!!!"

_It was a dream. A nightmare. It had to be. No, she wasn't gone. She couldn't be gone. _Gwen kept telling herself that Ellen would come back. Ellen loved her; she wouldn't abandon her like that. She wouldn't give her to the beasts that were possibly hiding behind the trees and waiting for their time to attack and eat her. But they'd already got their time.

She had to admit it: she was alone. There wasn't Ellen to protect her. There was no one to save her if a monster attacked her. But there wasn't even the monster. No one… even cared for her. Gwen was only lucky as not being found by a monster yet. Still she just couldn't feel lucky. Not now. She'd lost her mother. Now she'd lost her sister. No, she couldn't feel lucky, not lucky at all.

_So it's not a dream. It's real. _Gwen cried and leaned down toward the teddy bear lying in the mud. She didn't reach it. Even it had abandoned her. _I am alone. _

Or not. Cracks broke the silence behind her. She sniffled and looked behind her. She expected to see a hungry beast ready to attack her. But there was only a big white pony standing there. Then she had a hopeful thought that maybe Ellen returned - but no.

"What are you doing down there crying and talking to yourself in the middle of the rainy night and outside of Camelot? You know that you're not allowed to do so," the voice was though arrogant, just like Ellen's, but it belonged to a boy. Gwen gulped and gazed up where her dark chocolate brown eyes met his beautiful – and still arrogant – ice blue ones. And Gwen couldn't really tell why those eyes gave her a little comfort and protection.


End file.
